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There once was a boy named Toshimasa Hara. He was born in Japan. He had two moms, who were both very ugly. Nobody liked him very much, especially not his moms. He was rather ugly. He went to school. But he wasn't very smart. His counselor at school was Dr. Phill. Dr. Phill hated Toshimasa almost as much as his moms did. Despite all this Toshimasa was a happy boy, always smiling and he laughed easily. Nobody liked it when Toshimasa smiled and everyone hated when Toshimasa laughed. At home, he was forced to do many chores and endured the constant mocking from his mothers who complained loudly about having a useless and ugly boy for a son, instead of the beautiful daughter they had always wanted. They yelled at him to be quiet when they were trying to watch their soaps even though he never talked much and punished him by making him clean the chimney, even though they don't have chimneys in Japan. That's how he earned the nickname, Toshimasarella. Toshimasarella dreamed of a fairy godmother who would turn him into a pretty princess, so that his two moms might someday love him. But there's no such things as fairy godmothers, so he was screwed. He then decided that he would learn how to play the guitar. But he was too stupid. So he learned the bass instead. He was also a slut. He became a bouncer at gay singles bar where he met a short old woman named Kyo. Convinced that it was his fairy godmother, he agreed to join Kyo in an adventure and form the band Dir en grey. Despite Toshimasarella, who had by now shortened his name to Toshiya, Dir en grey managed to become a worldwide sucess where even Toshiya could manage to have a few fans by association. Despite his best efforts to become a beautiful princess however, his moms still don't love him.

This, however, is not his story.

There once was a boy named Moshimasa Hara. He was an unfortunate boy to be named such an unfortunate name. However Moshimasa's unfortunatability ends here. Moshimasa was a healthy baby unlike his malnourished twin brother Toshimasa. He was an excellent student, handsome, athletic, charming and popular with girls. However Moshimasa was evil. He kicked puppies and scared old ladies. He also killed Dumbledore. Nobody knows why Moshimasa is evil, but researchers don't care. Unlike his brothers failure in school, Moshimasa received high marks and has received many honors. He graduated Valedictorian from X University and has since discovered the cure for cancer, although he refuses to share it with anyone. Despite his evil everyone likes Mochi.

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